[These two have the best priorities when kidnapped, clearly.]
This is probably just snacks to tide us over! When they start torturing us or breaking our kneecaps for money, maybe they'll dig out the four-course meal!
[ hawke lifts her hand to stare at it before sighing and giving a shake of her head. ]
Unfortunately, no. The best I can do is take their fingers off so we can leave and find steak and mashed potatoes elsewhere. That would be the best solution, no?
But how many rooms do these guys have for the kidnapping, anyway? Do you think they rented out a place, or is this their evil headquarters, or something...?
[ hawke just shrugs and settles back into her seat, biting into another cookie. ]
It looks more like another tacky warehouse used for nefarious purposes. One would think that by now criminals would know not to look for someplace that was so obviously reeking of ill intent. We're not picked up by any masterminds today, it seems.
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kirkwalled) wrote2015-06-01 12:10 pm
delicious snacks
This is probably just snacks to tide us over! When they start torturing us or breaking our kneecaps for money, maybe they'll dig out the four-course meal!
[She says this all completely cheerfully.]
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Does this mean I have to trade my kneecaps for roast? I'm fond of my kneecaps. They're very springy!
[ is this sarcasm or genuine concern who knows ]
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Well... sometimes they just cut off fingers, right? Maybe we can trade a pinky for some steak and and mashed potatoes... plus dessert.
[PAUSES] Or, do you know a trick to make it look like you're missing a finger?
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Unfortunately, no. The best I can do is take their fingers off so we can leave and find steak and mashed potatoes elsewhere. That would be the best solution, no?
[ gratuitous violence ]
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......
But what if the fingers get stuck in the mashed potatoes and steak? Then he wouldn't be able to eat them at all...
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I was hoping that the meal and murder wouldn't happen in the same room, actually.
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[Peeks around!]
But how many rooms do these guys have for the kidnapping, anyway? Do you think they rented out a place, or is this their evil headquarters, or something...?
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It looks more like another tacky warehouse used for nefarious purposes. One would think that by now criminals would know not to look for someplace that was so obviously reeking of ill intent. We're not picked up by any masterminds today, it seems.
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So, since they're so cliche... do you think if we snoop around, we'll stumble onto a secret plot and then have to sneeze at exactly the wrong moment?
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Most likely we'll step on a mislaid twig and alert them to our presence. Then have to run very, very quickly as to not get caught.
[ it will be the right amount of comedic and everything! ]
So, we have two options -- play into the cliche or... walk right out. Which would you prefer?