Oh? Well, I'm actually glad to hear that. The current situation is much more sanitary. [He says as they walk through the dragon's innards.
Jade looks fairly indifferent about the parasites as he disposes of them. He feels that he's seen grosser in his day.]
I admire your imagination, but why don't we examine our options before setting our surroundings aflame? [He pokes at his glasses, now that the parasites seem to be at bay for now. He does step closer to take a glance at the matches.] I do believe that our objective must be somewhere within this creature, however.
The irony of you crying sanitary while we're stuck in what looks like the stomach or lung of a dragon is not lost on me.
[ casually points it out.
but when he comes over, she holds out the matches to him and keeps prodding around the desk with her other hand. junk, junk, and more junk. how much crap did this beast even swallow? ]
Hopefully we can find something, as I have to admit I'd rather not have to travel out the other way.
[ seriously just... ugh. she gives a huff and starts properly digging, swatting parasites out of the way as they pop up. she really isn't sure what she's looking for so is pretty much just dumping everything out of every nook and cranny she can find.
[Sigh. Does he have to.... Well, he supposes that he can lend a hand or two. So he sorts through the trash near her while helping to swat away the incoming parasites.]
Now now, Miss Hawke. Do be careful. Don't you know that one man's trash is another man's treasure?
[But eventually, shifting things around will reveal something; the sparkling tip of what seems to be a large crystal, jutting up through the floor.]
Now, now, Miss Hawke. [He turns as he's poked up and then leans beside her to look over it.]
Unfortunately, it's possible that not all of life's problems may be solved by shattering them. But we should try to unearth it and examine it in greater detail.
Truly, you are hysterical. Nevertheless, I don't have much by the way of a shovel and I refuse to snap my own sword over a crystal. There's no way you can just... levitate it, perhaps?
[If he was a more pop culture-savvy individual, some snark involving Jedis would go here. Instead, he just sighs and goes on dryly.]
Yes, but that is a power that can only be fueled by the applause of those pure of heart. [But apparently he read Peter Pan at some point I guess??? I don't even know.] Between the two of us, I believe that we're flat out of luck.
[However, he leans over to examine it more. And this time, he something about his touch manages to set something off. It glows, and it then rises up from the rubble by itself, proceeding to float in the center of the area. It is now clear that within this glowing crystal, is encased a princess.]
[ but oh that's something. she jerks back as the crystal rises and just watches in mild bemusement as it levitates in the middle of the room. she spots the princess immediately, and that's when it all clicks. ]
We're... saving a princess stuck in the stomach of a dragon. Of course that's what we're doing, why would it be anything else?
[Jade stepped back as well; his eyes briefly widened, as the only visible sign that he might just be surprised by this. He may have considered the possibility that their objective could be a living person, but he still did not expect this.]
Yes. Isn't that how the tale goes? [He says wryly with a light shrug.]
I suppose that we'll have to figure out a way to safely set her free.
Yes, but as you've pointed out earlier, I seem to not have any knowledge of solving things other than by shattering them. I'll leave finding the solution to this problem up to you.
[ but the smug grin on her face just makes it obvious that she's using jade's own words back at him so she can be a lazy asshole. she gestures for him to go forward and folds her arms over her chest, waiting right here. what a pal. ]
My, how embarrassing. [He muses sarcastically as he presses his fingers to his forehead.] You've undone me with my own words.
I suppose that now I'll have to consider if I have any talents other than destruction.
[But time may not be on their side. The area rumbles for the moment, and there's the sound of a roar. Something green and acidy starts to pour in from several orifices - digestive juices?]
I'm sure you are gifted with a large array of talents other than a nice set of legs. [ because, you know. that robe and all.
but... ah. the sudden acid makes her jump back from where she's leaning against the table and cringe. she'll approach the crystal with her back to it, sword out and ready to do anything if needs must. ]
This is unfortunate. Do you think the beast is about to eat us? That would seem in align with events.
[Hawke plz. Jade gives an arrogant smirk at her comment, but then when the ooze comes into the picture, he's on his guard. He twirls his spear around as he faces the crystal.]
As flattered as I may feel to learn that you think of me as more than just a set of pretty legs, I suppose our potential fates are the more pressing matter at the moment.
[He tweaks at his glasses as he looks towards the crystal, his eyes sometimes darting around to track the progress of the digestive liquids.]
Technically, we've already been swallowed whole. It would be rude to leave our friend's meal half-finished... [He shakes his head smugly.] But I supposed that it would be worst to leave a crystallized princess hanging. I believe that goes against most accepted forms of etiquette.
[But then he looks over the crystal more seriously.]
It would appear that there's no type of lock or puzzle on this crystal... No indication on how to free her. What other options are there... [But they don't have much in the way of time to spare.
[ jade is talking quite a bit! hawke knows this because she stopped paying attention and is mostly picking a spot of dirt on the hilt of her sword. it's a very annoying piece of dirt and she scratches it off with her glove mindlessly as he keeps talking and talking about nothing important.
finally he finishes and comes back to the solution she proposed in the first place! geez louise, that took forever. ]
What a novel concept. Alright, stand back.
[ and then she's going to pick up her sword, making all the show to lift it up high and...!
and she just uses the hilt of her sword, cracking it into the crystal with a sharp tap and the thing shatters, leaving the princess to drop to the floor unharmed. she takes a gasp of air and looks up at the two of them. ]
Hello, messere. We have to get out of here. Quickly.
[Wow excuse him for taking on the burden of the exposition! He gives a light shrug and watches as the crystal shatters. She's such a violent woman.
He remains on his guard, to not be digested or anything of the like. Of course, as Hawke reaches for the princess's hand, the hand suddenly looks more... green and webbed. The princess now is suddenly changing to look a lot more like a bloodthirsty demon.
Jade sighs and adjusts his glasses as he prepares a fonic arte.]
[ better you than her, at least! hawke's too lazy for exposition. either way, at least her violence is handy! jerk.
but... oh. hawke pulls back her hand as it happens and takes a moment to close her eyes, giving a sigh. ]
Right. Demons.
[ and then she brings her sword up to swing it across the beast. even if it doesn't kill it, there's going to be a very serious wound across its middle, enough for them to get on the better defensive. ]
[ good guy jade curtiss. he gets a look from hawke at that though. ]
I have the odd feeling you just insulted someone there.
[ but alas. she's going to roll her eyes at his request because oh man, one day she's going to punch him right in the face. right in it. this is what she thinks as the creature lunges for her and she rolls out of the way before slicing it right across its back. a big gash oozing blood appears and hawke moves forward to drive her sword through its middle. ]
Busy, busy, busy. Busy, I can do. Look at how busy I'm keeping this thing.
[ so very busy. she's going to fling the body of the creature at jade now, just to fuck with him. ]
That could be correct. You may not know her, but they say that it's the thought that counts.
[And then he watches as Hawke... Hawkes the monster. His fonic charge seems a bit unnecessary now, and he cuts it off anyway as the monster is thrown at him. He hastily catches it - without letting go of his spear because the monster getting a little stabbed in the process can only benefit them - and then he staggers as he holds it there. She really is a piece of work, even if Jade understands that most systems of logic would deduce that he deserved this.]
Your business methods go a it farther than expected...
[He then heaves and tosses it towards the acid, so that if it is still alive, its remains will get melted away. His poor robes are now covered in monster blood... but it looks like an exit door is now materializing where the shattered crystal was?]
[ he took down the dragon, she can at least take down this. it's only polite. she grins to herself a little as he stumbles with the corpse and it widens as he's covered in all that blood. how fantastic. ]
You were so useful earlier, I thought I might return the favor.
[ but oh, that's odd. she blinks at it before shrugging and moving forward to open the door. hawke has no survival instincts. ]
[Ah, equivalent exchange. Of course. Jade sighs and shakes his head.]
That's very kind of you. Heavens forbid either of us end up indebted to the other.
[He does a mock-shudder at the very thought.
And yes, he'll let her go right ahead through the door if she so likes, ready to go in after her if there's no horrific after-effect. After all, there isn't much of a choice when their surroundings are slowly but surely filling with digestive acid.
So he taps at his glasses and moves following her towards the door.]
I suppose our quest has reached the end, in a very traditional manner. We've slain the dragon, solved a puzzle, slain a princess...
Perish the thought. I might have to do something drastic just to wash off the filth.
[ the filth that is being indebted to jade, that is.
as she gets a hand on the doorknob, she does hold up a finger to correct him on one thing though. ]
Saved a princess, from a very unfortunate fate. It is not our fault that she was beyond hope when we found her, is it? Of course not.
[ and now she is dead! the door opens and they're able to step out onto the floor of the vivid center. though the blood and scrapes and all that stay, unfortunately. ]
[He actually cracked a smirk at that. It was also possible that she was just a monster disguised as a princess to begin with, and beyond it all it was just a virtual creation at the end... but he can't help but smirk at that dumb sentiment.]
Oh? Yes, I suppose that it isn't. Congratulations on being her knight in shining armor.
[And then he steps right through the door after her! And he finds himself right in that game center. He sighs for a moment as he surveys his surroundings.]
So it's not taking me back to the spa after all. I suppose that I'll have to show the populace a unique fashion statement.
[He then moves his spear towards his right arm, and with a flash of green light, it disappears into thin air.]
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kirkwalled) wrote2015-06-01 12:10 pm
no subject
Jade looks fairly indifferent about the parasites as he disposes of them. He feels that he's seen grosser in his day.]
I admire your imagination, but why don't we examine our options before setting our surroundings aflame? [He pokes at his glasses, now that the parasites seem to be at bay for now. He does step closer to take a glance at the matches.] I do believe that our objective must be somewhere within this creature, however.
no subject
[ casually points it out.
but when he comes over, she holds out the matches to him and keeps prodding around the desk with her other hand. junk, junk, and more junk. how much crap did this beast even swallow? ]
Hopefully we can find something, as I have to admit I'd rather not have to travel out the other way.
[ no being pooped out for hawke, no. ]
no subject
It's certainly not the type of scenic route that I would prefer either. But if we don't find something in here, we will have to try to go deeper...
Keep your eyes open for anything that looks like a valuable treasure. It could be the key that we're looking for.
no subject
[ seriously just... ugh. she gives a huff and starts properly digging, swatting parasites out of the way as they pop up. she really isn't sure what she's looking for so is pretty much just dumping everything out of every nook and cranny she can find.
help her out a little, jade? ]
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Now now, Miss Hawke. Do be careful. Don't you know that one man's trash is another man's treasure?
[But eventually, shifting things around will reveal something; the sparkling tip of what seems to be a large crystal, jutting up through the floor.]
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[ and then there's that huge crystal, which hawke just gestures to. ]
See, just like that. Obvious.
[ now she crouches down to be level with the crystal, reaching out a hand to poke at it. hm, what are they supposed to do with this? ]
Should we shatter it?
no subject
Unfortunately, it's possible that not all of life's problems may be solved by shattering them. But we should try to unearth it and examine it in greater detail.
no subject
Truly, you are hysterical. Nevertheless, I don't have much by the way of a shovel and I refuse to snap my own sword over a crystal. There's no way you can just... levitate it, perhaps?
no subject
Yes, but that is a power that can only be fueled by the applause of those pure of heart. [But apparently he read Peter Pan at some point I guess??? I don't even know.] Between the two of us, I believe that we're flat out of luck.
[However, he leans over to examine it more. And this time, he something about his touch manages to set something off. It glows, and it then rises up from the rubble by itself, proceeding to float in the center of the area. It is now clear that within this glowing crystal, is encased a princess.]
no subject
[ but oh that's something. she jerks back as the crystal rises and just watches in mild bemusement as it levitates in the middle of the room. she spots the princess immediately, and that's when it all clicks. ]
We're... saving a princess stuck in the stomach of a dragon. Of course that's what we're doing, why would it be anything else?
[ for fucks sake ]
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Yes. Isn't that how the tale goes? [He says wryly with a light shrug.]
I suppose that we'll have to figure out a way to safely set her free.
no subject
[ but the smug grin on her face just makes it obvious that she's using jade's own words back at him so she can be a lazy asshole. she gestures for him to go forward and folds her arms over her chest, waiting right here. what a pal. ]
no subject
I suppose that now I'll have to consider if I have any talents other than destruction.
[But time may not be on their side. The area rumbles for the moment, and there's the sound of a roar. Something green and acidy starts to pour in from several orifices - digestive juices?]
no subject
but... ah. the sudden acid makes her jump back from where she's leaning against the table and cringe. she'll approach the crystal with her back to it, sword out and ready to do anything if needs must. ]
This is unfortunate. Do you think the beast is about to eat us? That would seem in align with events.
no subject
As flattered as I may feel to learn that you think of me as more than just a set of pretty legs, I suppose our potential fates are the more pressing matter at the moment.
[He tweaks at his glasses as he looks towards the crystal, his eyes sometimes darting around to track the progress of the digestive liquids.]
Technically, we've already been swallowed whole. It would be rude to leave our friend's meal half-finished... [He shakes his head smugly.] But I supposed that it would be worst to leave a crystallized princess hanging. I believe that goes against most accepted forms of etiquette.
[But then he looks over the crystal more seriously.]
It would appear that there's no type of lock or puzzle on this crystal... No indication on how to free her. What other options are there... [But they don't have much in the way of time to spare.
Finally, he sighs and waves towards Hawke.]
Fine. Let's just destroy it.
no subject
finally he finishes and comes back to the solution she proposed in the first place! geez louise, that took forever. ]
What a novel concept. Alright, stand back.
[ and then she's going to pick up her sword, making all the show to lift it up high and...!
and she just uses the hilt of her sword, cracking it into the crystal with a sharp tap and the thing shatters, leaving the princess to drop to the floor unharmed. she takes a gasp of air and looks up at the two of them. ]
Hello, messere. We have to get out of here. Quickly.
[ holding out a gloved hand to the girl. ]
no subject
He remains on his guard, to not be digested or anything of the like. Of course, as Hawke reaches for the princess's hand, the hand suddenly looks more... green and webbed. The princess now is suddenly changing to look a lot more like a bloodthirsty demon.
Jade sighs and adjusts his glasses as he prepares a fonic arte.]
Hm, perhaps I miscalculated.
no subject
but... oh. hawke pulls back her hand as it happens and takes a moment to close her eyes, giving a sigh. ]
Right. Demons.
[ and then she brings her sword up to swing it across the beast. even if it doesn't kill it, there's going to be a very serious wound across its middle, enough for them to get on the better defensive. ]
no subject
She must be of Kimlascan nobility.
[He says with a nod. The creature does indeed seem to be wounded for the moment. So he addresses her dryly while chargin' his fonons.]
Be a dear and try to keep it busy for a few minutes more, won't you?
no subject
I have the odd feeling you just insulted someone there.
[ but alas. she's going to roll her eyes at his request because oh man, one day she's going to punch him right in the face. right in it. this is what she thinks as the creature lunges for her and she rolls out of the way before slicing it right across its back. a big gash oozing blood appears and hawke moves forward to drive her sword through its middle. ]
Busy, busy, busy. Busy, I can do. Look at how busy I'm keeping this thing.
[ so very busy. she's going to fling the body of the creature at jade now, just to fuck with him. ]
no subject
[And then he watches as Hawke... Hawkes the monster. His fonic charge seems a bit unnecessary now, and he cuts it off anyway as the monster is thrown at him. He hastily catches it - without letting go of his spear because the monster getting a little stabbed in the process can only benefit them - and then he staggers as he holds it there. She really is a piece of work, even if Jade understands that most systems of logic would deduce that he deserved this.]
Your business methods go a it farther than expected...
[He then heaves and tosses it towards the acid, so that if it is still alive, its remains will get melted away. His poor robes are now covered in monster blood... but it looks like an exit door is now materializing where the shattered crystal was?]
no subject
You were so useful earlier, I thought I might return the favor.
[ but oh, that's odd. she blinks at it before shrugging and moving forward to open the door. hawke has no survival instincts. ]
no subject
That's very kind of you. Heavens forbid either of us end up indebted to the other.
[He does a mock-shudder at the very thought.
And yes, he'll let her go right ahead through the door if she so likes, ready to go in after her if there's no horrific after-effect. After all, there isn't much of a choice when their surroundings are slowly but surely filling with digestive acid.
So he taps at his glasses and moves following her towards the door.]
I suppose our quest has reached the end, in a very traditional manner. We've slain the dragon, solved a puzzle, slain a princess...
no subject
[ the filth that is being indebted to jade, that is.
as she gets a hand on the doorknob, she does hold up a finger to correct him on one thing though. ]
Saved a princess, from a very unfortunate fate. It is not our fault that she was beyond hope when we found her, is it? Of course not.
[ and now she is dead! the door opens and they're able to step out onto the floor of the vivid center. though the blood and scrapes and all that stay, unfortunately. ]
no subject
Oh? Yes, I suppose that it isn't. Congratulations on being her knight in shining armor.
[And then he steps right through the door after her! And he finds himself right in that game center. He sighs for a moment as he surveys his surroundings.]
So it's not taking me back to the spa after all. I suppose that I'll have to show the populace a unique fashion statement.
[He then moves his spear towards his right arm, and with a flash of green light, it disappears into thin air.]
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